The Misfit So Alone
by JJ Rust
Summary: Luna is depressed. Can Harry cheer her up with help from one of the greatest Muggle bands ever?


Harry Potter had never seen her so depressed.

He stared at the Ravenclaw table across from him, his eyes fixed on a lonely girl with long dirty blond hair and large silvery eyes at the very end of the table.

Luna Lovegood pushed her food around her plate with a fork. Her shoulders sagged as she let out a sigh.

_What's wrong with her?_ Every time Harry had seen her over the past few days she'd been like this. The bright warm aura that always seemed to surround her had vanished. She didn't smile, didn't say hello whenever they passed each other in the corridors. Her mood was so . . . unLuna-like.

"Harry!"

His body jerked in surprise. He whipped his head to the left. Hermione Granger stared at him, brow furrowed in anger.

"You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?"

"Um, sorry, Hermione. Just . . . I just have a lot on my mind."

"Let me guess. The Quidditch match Saturday against Ravenclaw. Honestly, can you just stop thinking about it for two minutes and listen to what I have to say? Romilda Vane has been going around for days making up all kinds of stories about how you like her and how you're going to ask her out. Harry, there is something seriously wrong with that girl."

"Uh-huh." Harry was about to say something when movement caught his eye from the Ravenclaw table. He turned and saw Luna getting up, her dinner untouched, and ambling out of the Great Hall, head down.

"Well, Harry?" Hermione held up her hands, waiting for a response.

"Um, just hold that thought for a moment."

Harry ignored Hermione's perturbed expression as he sprang out of his seat and jogged toward the exit.

"Luna, wait."

She turned around, her radish-shaped earrings dangling from her lobes. "Hello, Harry."

He grimaced. The usual lilt to her voice was completely gone.

"Luna. Um . . . are you okay?"

She paused. "I'm fine."

Harry moved his head back in surprise. She just lied. When did Luna ever lie about anything?

"Luna, please." He stepped closer to her. "I know something's bothering you. What is it?"

Her shoulders sagged. She turned away from him for a few seconds, then swung her head back to face him. Harry swallowed when he saw the sadness in her eyes. "You don't have to worry about me, Harry. I'll be fine."

She started to turn away when Harry jumped forward. "Luna, wait." He reached out and gently grasped her shoulder. His lungs seized up at the moment of contact. It took him a second to regain his voice. "I . . . I'm just worried about you. I've never seen you so depressed."

She closed her eyes and lowered her head, when she stared back up at him, Harry saw her protuberant eyes glisten with moisture.

"Last week when we were at Hogsmeade, I was watching so many people. Ginny and Dean Thomas, Ron and Lavender Brown, Cho Chang and Michael Corner. I saw whole groups of people wandering into and out of stores, talking, laughing. And I thought back to our D.A. classes. I've never been part of a group like that. Sometimes . . . sometimes I wish I wasn't always alone. Sometimes I wish I did fit in."

Harry unconsciously squeezed her shoulder. His mouth opened, but he struggled to find any words.

"I'm sorry I wasted your time with this. You surely have better things to do. Good night, Harry."

Luna's shoulder slipped from his hand. Harry felt his stomach knot up as he watched her trudge down the corridor and turn left at the junction, vanishing from sight.

Harry forgot about dinner and headed back to the Gryffindor Common Room. He tried studying for his upcoming tests in Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration, but Luna's sorrowful image haunted his mind's eye. What bothered him more than that were her words. _"Sometimes I wish I did fit it."_

Luna Lovegood, the ultimate free spirit, wanted to fit in? Harry shook his head as he stared blankly at his DADA book. The fact she didn't fit in, that she held true to her beliefs no matter how daft they were, is what made her uniquely Luna Lovegood. He couldn't picture her any other way.

Luna remained in his mind throughout the next day. At breakfast, in all his classes, the Ravenclaw girl never left his thoughts. Harry wondered where she was, if she was still depressed.

_Luna Lovegood . . . depressed._ He never expected to use that word and that name in the same sentence. He also never expected her mood to trouble him so. Harry tried to convince himself that she'd snap out of it eventually. Look at Ron. Any number of things would send him into a bad mood, but he always found a way to get over it. Why should Luna be any different?

_But she is different._

What if Luna didn't get over it? What if she isolated herself even more from the rest of Hogwarts? Or what if she actually tried to reinvent herself and act like every other girl at school?

Harry's insides collapsed. He cringed at the thought of Luna Lovegood with the personality of a Lavender Brown or Romilda Vane.

_She'd never do that . . . would she?_

When the afternoon came Harry managed to keep his mind off Luna for a couple hours as he ran the Gryffindor Quidditch team through their last practice before the match with Ravenclaw. He was extremely pleased with how things went and felt confident they'd be victorious come Saturday. These days Harry's desire to beat Ravenclaw rivaled that of beating Slytherin. He knew it had to do mainly with Cho Chang being on the opposite side of the pitch. Their failed relationship still left a bitter taste in his mouth. Cho seemed to change into a completely different person during their time together. Something he doubted Luna Lovegood would ever do.

Harry shook his head as he walked back to the castle with the rest of the team. Now with practice over, Luna filled his thoughts again.

"You okay, Harry?" Ginny asked as she walked beside him.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He turned away from her and looked out at the lake.

He skidded to a halt. Someone sat near the edge of the lake, someone with a long mane of dirty blonde hair.

Harry's insides sagged. Was Luna still depressed? Would anyone try to help her? He knew the answer to that. Who the hell at this school cared if Luna was depressed?

He thought back to their brief conversation last night outside the Great Hall, when Luna said how sometimes she wished she could fit in. A thick tendril of fear coiled around his stomach. Despite her crackpot conspiracy theories and belief in non-existent creatures, he liked Luna just the way she was. How many times had she given him advice out of the blue that seemed to put everything into perspective?

And he'd never forget her words to him after Sirius' death.

_Don't change, Luna. Please don't change._

Suddenly a song lyric popped into his head.

"_He knows changes aren't permanent . . . but change is!"_

Harry felt his eyes bulge.

"Excuse me." He pushed past Jimmy Peakes and Demelza Robins and ran toward the castle. He tore through the Gryffindor Common Room and the stairs to his room. He stopped in the doorway, sucking down large gulps of air, and scanned inside. He saw Neville Longbottom, Seamus Finnigan . . . and the very person he wanted to find.

"Dean!"

Dean Thomas canted his head. "Harry? You've been running a marathon?"

Harry took another deep breath. "CDs. Can I . . . borrow one?" Being from a Muggle family, Dean had a huge collection of music from non-magic rock bands.

"Um, yeah sure. They're in my trunk."

Harry opened his friend's trunk and quickly searched through his CD collection until he found the one he wanted.

"So what do you need . . ."

Harry raced out of the room before Seamus could finish his question.

To his relief, Luna was still sitting by the lake. She didn't notice his presence until he sat beside her.

"Mind if I join you?"

She lifted her eyes from the book she was reading. "Hello, Harry." Luna said in a flat tone. "I don't mind, though I'm sure there are other people you'd rather be with."

"No there isn't." He swallowed, his heart slamming against his chest. Harry stared at her face, wishing the glow he'd grown so used to seeing would return to it.

_Maybe it will._

"Luna. I really hate seeing you so depressed. I . . . I think I may have a way to cheer you up."

Luna just stared silently at him.

Harry opened the CD case and removed the disc.

"What's that?"

"It's called a CD. The Muggles use them to make music. This is one I really think you should listen to."

He cast a spell that encased the CD in a transparent floating red ball. Three animated figures suddenly appeared atop the disk; a hawk-faced man with long brown hair holding a bass guitar with a keyboard by his side, another man with a guitar and a third man surrounded by an immense drum set.

"_Lascivio!"_ Harry flicked his wand.

A clash of guitar and keyboard filled the air around them. The hawk-faced man started to sing, the lyrics appearing over Harry and Luna as fat cartoon-like words.

"_A modern day warrior mean, mean stride, today's Tom Sawyer, mean, mean pride."_

Luna's always wide eyes grew even wider. She scooted forward as the song continued.

"_No his mind is not for rent, to any god or government. Always hopeful, yet discontent. He knows changes aren't permanent . . . but change is!"_

Harry felt a smile grow across his face. Luna's pale features began to brighten. She swayed back and forth to the music. When the song ended, Harry flicked his wand to the next one he wanted to play for her.

"_Growing up it all seems so one-sided, opinions all provided. The future pre-decided. Detached and subdivided in the mass production zone. Nowhere is the dreamer or the misfit so alone."_

The more the song went on, the more Luna glowed. Harry could tell from her eyes that she was picking up the meaning behind these songs. He had every faith she would. She was a Ravenclaw, after all.

"Harry, that was incredible." She turned to him, beaming. "Who is this group?"

"It's a Muggle band called Rush. Those two songs are _Tom Sawyer_ and _Subdivisions._ It's just . . . when I heard you talk about wanting to fit in, I suddenly thought of those songs. They don't want people to all be the same, to do things because it will please others. They want us to be who we truly are, not conform to how the rest of society wants us to be."

Harry gently wrapped his hand around Luna's wrist. "I don't want you to change, Luna. I like you for exactly who you are."

Luna responded with one of the biggest smiles Harry had ever seen. "Thank you so much, Harry."

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

Harry's heart pounded furiously. Heat welled up in his cheeks. His smile matched Luna's. Harry's eyes stayed locked on Luna's silvery orbs. He never realized until now just how beautiful she was.

Harry leaned forward and kissed her . . . and they continued to kiss. For minutes, maybe for an hour. Time ceased to have any meaning for him.

They finally laid back on the grass, watching the sun set over the lake.

"Do you think we could come down here tomorrow, Harry?" Luna asked. "Perhaps you can play me another CD?"

Harry smiled. He already had one in mind. One Dean said he played a lot when he and Ginny were together because it always put them in a romantic mood.

He rolled over on his side and rubbed a strand of Luna's hair between his fingers. "Of course. How do you feel about REO Speedwagon?"

THE END –

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **The lyrics are solely those of Rush and are used in this story for fictional purposes. I've been a huge Rush fan for years, and after seeing them in concert recently I wanted to do some kind of story that featured the Canadian power trio. Also, this story balances out my heart-wrenching Harry/Luna fanfic "Conquering Love."


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